The Exploration

  Break I am so goddamn sick to my stomach. Every ounce of me wants life to go back to the way it used to be. My head hurts, my body aches, my heart is broken. When will this pain cease? Through times like these, I remind myself that there is no growth without pain. I am being put to the real test. My focus, my concentration, my mentality are all being tested. I must remain calm in times of turmoil. That tranquility will allow me to focus on what I really want. It would be easy to try to chase what I had, but the truth is, it will never be the same again. Life only happens once. You cannot relive the past, you can only relive the feelings it gave you. 

  Fear I am scared. I’m really fucking scared. But the part that scares me, is that I don’t know what I’m scared of. That’s the very thing that is scariest. The fear of the unknown. I feel like I have it all together but I don’t. I know nothing. I feel lost even though I know exactly where I am. I feel empty even though I have a partner, a job, hobbies, friends, everything I could ever need. What has happened to me? Angst has invaded me and right when I thought I had it all together, it is all falling apart. How can I conquer this fear? Many different forms of fear prey on the human mind. Maybe it’s the fear of loss? Or the fear of poverty? Or the fear of criticism? Every one of these fears infiltrates the human mind at some point in time. It is up to us to fend them off. Even the most successful people on earth have experienced these exact fears, but it is control and drive that made them successful. If I were to shut down now because I’m scared of what’s next, how would I...