The Exploration

  “You coming or what!?” My sunburnt eyelids slowly opened to the same bright sun as always. Half my body hung over the side of the bus stop bench. I still felt hazy from last night’s fix. “Dude, I’m doing you a favor here!” I looked up to be blinded by a bright red car holding up traffic at the intersection. Horns were blaring behind him as he scolded me from the car. It seemed like the horns didn’t even bother him as he sat back in his seat with his head nearly touching the roof and his eyes stuck on the dirty windshield in front of him. Confused as to what was happening, I got up and cleared the dust from my eyes. I grabbed my bag and made my way over to the dented passenger side door of that red car. He rolled the window up and let out a deep sigh as I approached.  “It’s Sam, how ya doin?” “Hey I’m M-” “It’s not short for anything either, it’s just Sam. What you feelin man?” “I’m, uh, I’m pretty, uhhh-” “Music, man, music!” He slammed his hand on the steering wheel. “What ...

Sometimes I still feel like Mentally I am here Sailing to shore with the wake Maybe I wish I was Maybe it’s just my way To escape Whatever it is- Who cares? Because when there are waves I don’t even notice Because the sun shines Bright, where the trees break And the waves are no longer danger Instead they fade into The sounds of the lake Superior to be 19, Grand Marais 20 whatever I feel it everyday Seagulls squawk But to me they say Happy birthday Even though it’s just another Ordinary day Though a sky like this Doesn’t just make for another day … When life was a mess I never even prayed When I had no faith You still showed your face And I still think about it Every single day.

Laying on the floor Dust among the dust Light hits each speck Differently Creating a painting Like brush strokes On this canvas I continue to paint over Each time I feel that It’s not coming out Like I think it should Maybe it could Become something If rather than painting over The strokes of the past I left them there I let them last And linger Until the time comes For them to become A lost piece of the past All memories of before Are lost Unless notated Unless they have some cause In what is happening  Today Because unless they make The bad days go away They are left  To where they were made.

  As if they’d never end I can feel the end begin Just as it did before I walked out, shut the door Won’t step foot there anymore Flashbacking, backtracking To warm water splashing As the sand swirls And I hold you close to me Because I know it makes you feel Like it makes me feel Now it’s realer And faces once familiar Have become distant characters In our memories of yesterday Where was I? Did I find what I tried to find? Because in some ways I feel blind To the thoughts of my younger mind Somewhere in the meantime I got caught up in this screen time Lost the deeper meaning Just following the street signs