Authenticity

 “Everyone likes to be praised, but when praise is specific, it comes across as sincere, not just something to manipulate.”

How genuine are you in what you say? Do you say things how they are or do you sugarcoat them to appear (insert adjective here)? 

A lot of what you do is done because it is ‘socially acceptable’ and not what you actually believe. It is a social norm to give people phony handshakes and give them a big smile when you meet them, even though you might be completely uninterested. 

Personally, I can sense inauthenticity in a person right away and it instantly makes me stray from that person. When people approach me with false praise that is simply used for their own good and not mine, I completely disregard them. Not everyone thinks this way. Some people eat up false praise like it is the last piece of cake. They don’t bat an eye at the possibilities of false intention. Simplicity is a key attribute in those who give false praise and those who accept false praise. And if you further examine these types of people, their relationships are usually rather shallow.

Why are inauthentic relationships shallow?

Because the truth is the only way to actually penetrate someone’s emotions. Share the truth with those who you care about, both positive and negative. Your true feedback for people will make them respect you more than a flattering, superficial compliment from somebody else. The more you spread the truth, the more people will flock to you.

There are times when to and when not to speak your mind though. If your focus of a conversation is negative, accusing, or admonishing, don’t say it. Before you point out the negative, first consider all the positive attributes about the person. Force yourself to focus on the good, then follow it up with constructive criticism. When you come to the person with praise, you already have their attention and their interest. They will respect whatever comes next because you have established good will. Follow up your authentic praise with genuine concern for them with the issue you have. Make it seem as though the reason you are presenting it to them is because you are looking out for their good will. If either praise or criticism has the self in mind, don’t say it. Always focus on the good of other people. 

Key: Start with praise, follow with constructive criticism.

Want to grow a following?

Be genuine.

Know when to speak and when to think.

Observe what makes people tick.

Be more genuine in everything you do and you will gain the deep relationships and the true emotions that come with.

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~Thank you for reading. My goal is to help teach others ways to better themselves while doing the same for myself. This is The Exploration.~