Regret

“Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it ‘til it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh.”

Everyone faces it. It is what causes so much stress in simple decisions. The idea that the road not taken was the better road will always haunt you. The possibility of what could’ve been will always cause you to overthink and sometimes admonish your decisions, but where does this thinking get you?

Nowhere.

Is it possible to solve regret? The answer is no. It will always be there. What is possible is the ability to lessen the regret you feel.

Key: take action more.

It was discovered that people regret inaction more than action. Why is this? 

The reason is because actions are easier to undo than inaction. If you make a bad decision there is typically a way of reversing the negative effects. But with inaction, there is no way of reversing the effects if there weren’t any. You simply didn’t make the move and that is that. It is much easier for you to justify an action you took. Your brain will come up with reasons for the behavior and make it seem okay that you did what you did. This is a lot easier to live with. Inaction, on the other hand, can not be justified. The mind cannot figure out why the body didn’t act and because of that you are left with regret.

So why don’t you act?

The reason is because you are afraid of two things:

Failure and change.

At the moment of the decision, it seems terrifying that you might fail. You are paralyzed because your brain is convincing you that failure is imminent. But every single time you look back at the situation, you realize that you wouldn't have failed.

You’ve heard the stories that people tell about their glory days before. “I could’ve done _____ if it weren’t for ______.” The overconfidence in the phrase is almost comical. They are thoroughly convinced that they could’ve done better but could they have? Probably not. At that moment, their body was not able to act because of the two fears I mentioned prior. But now, their mind is telling them how easy it would’ve been to succeed. 

After realizing the mental process behind inaction, it is easier to recognize what you are doing in the moment. Remind yourself constantly why you aren’t taking action. 

Fear.

If you want change in your life, then don’t be afraid of change. Use that stimulus to spring you into action. Optimize your discomfort.

Remember that the regret of inaction is unsolvable. 

Take action and you will never experience unsolvable regret again.

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~Thank you for reading. My goal is to help teach others ways to better themselves while doing the same for myself. This is The Exploration.~