Listen more, talk less

“Listening is a magnetic force.”

The more you listen, the more you learn.

I am more of an introverted person. I enjoy fully thinking through what I am going to say before I say it. I analyze every single word that comes out of my mouth. But I haven’t always been this way.

When I was younger, I used to talk a lot more. I blurted out whatever came to my mind because I wanted attention. I wanted people to notice me but instead I got the exact opposite. I was avoided instead. My peers became annoyed with my useless interjections in effort to fit in. When I talked, nobody listened. The reason?

I HADN’T LISTENED ENOUGH.

When you listen more, you learn more. You learn how to demand attention. You learn what people like to hear. You learn the key words and phrases that will evoke emotion and feeling in a person. You learn how to manipulate people to share your opinion. You learn how to influence people with your voice and words. 

These are not skills that come overnight. It takes years of focused listening to acquire them. Some people are ignorant of this. They instead think they just need to continue talking until they are noticed. They are so busy talking about themselves that they don’t have time to listen to what is actually important.

PEOPLE ARE ATTRACTED TO THOSE WHO WILL LISTEN TO THEM.

Giving your undivided attention to someone will make them fall in love with you (only sometimes). They will know that they can come to you every time they want to vent. And if for every 1 minute you are listening, you are talking for 10 seconds, make those 10 seconds worthwhile. Meticulously choose your words and make the person stop and think about what you said. 

Everyone wants to be heard. It is an essential human need.

Listening shows care. Everybody wants care. Therefore, the more you listen, the more people start to become attracted to you. Listening is a magnetic trait. It brings people to you. People want to be around you when you listen to them. 

And you, in return, get smarter. You get more time to carefully select your sentence structure, your inflection, the path of your words. People don’t realize how much of a better communicator listening makes you. 90% of people think they need to talk all the time so be part of the 10% that doesn’t. This makes you unique. This makes you different. This makes you special.

The one phrase that makes me feel amazing about myself:

“Thanks for listening, it really shows you care.”

Since changing my mindset, I have heard this phrase numerous times from numerous people.

I listen to their story, give minimal, thought-out feedback, process the story in my mind, come back and write about what I learned from it.

I use the stories of others to tell mine. I use the stories of others to teach. I use the stories of others to learn.

Why wouldn’t I want to hear your story?

It helps me write mine better.

Listening better has allowed me to gain perspective. Perspective of what life is like from another person’s point of view. It has made me feel what it is like to go through certain situations. It has helped me understand why people act the way they do, how they become who they are. It all ties in.

You just have to listen.

The more you listen, the more you understand.

Listen more, talk less.

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Thank you for reading!

My goal is to inspire self-improvement in others through my personal stories and experiences.

This is The Exploration.