Flustered

 Today I sat in a car for 3 hours.

I was away from home, away from my routine for 5 days. As I sat in that in that car on the seemingly endless drive home on the barren interstate, I could not keep my mind off all of the things I need to do. Every thought was consumed by a piece of my lengthy to-do list.

The more I thought about it, the more stressed I was becoming. I could feel my blood pressure rising solely from my thoughts.

Then it hit me.

I was sitting in a car doing absolutely nothing with 3 of my friends, and all I could think about was what I was going to do. I was letting my future stress me out rather than just enjoying the moment.

I took a deep breathe and tried to clear my mind.

At that moment in time, I HAD ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

There was not a single thing that I had to be anxious, stressed, or worried about. 

I WAS CREATING IT ALL IN MY MIND.

I feel this often when I know I have a lot on the agenda. I feel like I cannot get done with the current task and on to the next task fast enough. I want to cross things off, erase tasks, and complete reminders constantly. 

I RACE TO THE FINISH LINE AND ALL I FIND IS BOREDOM.

When everything is done, I have nothing planned. I literally have nowhere to be, nowhere to go, nobody to see, so why am I so worried about completing these so-called “chores” so fast?

I have always blamed my anxious mind for this want to race through everything, but I realize now it can be cured.

The more I read books about being present, the more I practice meditation, the more I am aware of where I am and what I am doing, the more I am able to snap out of these episodes.

When I am out of my routine, it is harder to do this. I was overstimulated with caffeine, overfed with food I usually don’t eat, and overtired from working 12 hour days. My mind wasn’t working the way it should. But I still realized what I was doing.

YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR MIND TO DO ANYTHING YOU WANT.

I had to force myself to take deep breathes and look out the window. It is not something I am able to calm down naturally yet. I am still practicing this. 

But I am happy. 

Why? 

Because I realized it, I caught it, and I fixed it.

I reminded myself the thing I always do when I get caught up in worrying about the future:

THIS MOMENT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN, SO WHO CARES WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN LATER?

I almost missed something that will never happen again.

That’s the sad part.

I almost let my mind ruin a perfect moment.

Train yourself to catch yourself when you are stressing. Recognize what is right in front of you.

What is going to happen will happen eventually, but let it happen when it is time for it to happen.

Don’t get flustered worrying about the future.

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Thank you for reading!

My goal is to inspire self-improvement in others through my personal stories and experiences.

This is The Exploration.