The Exploration

  Pretend Walk away, far away In an attempt to tame- What’s the name… the name… Stop. I thought I told you to stop. Don’t interfere with my thoughts. That’s why I go for walks Cortisol finds its way Into my bloodstream Then seeps into my mind It’s all at peace for a while Then something reminds Then infested again With these thoughts that pretend To be productive, constructive But beneath their skin Their intentions, destructive My walls are too thin So they keep getting in When you want to escape An environment you create It’s really hard To find where to go So do what you do best *that’s what you do best?* When you’re dealing with stress Walk. Go. Away. To a different day. A bright one in May When mohawks were cool And I’d walk down one To find some orange berries I could pretend Were a cure to a sickness So I’d mix them with red and blue Whatever I could find To make a new combination Of things from my imagination I try to find me Alone in that crabapple tree Wearing a grey hood...

Leftovers Alarming sounds Ruminating from rooms aside One, two, three, four, five Snoozes… the ring more annoying Each time Boxes piled by the trash Seemingly adding more Night after night Leftovers from weeks ago Sit untouched in the fridge And the mold grows  More and more  Til I can’t stand it anymore So I throw it out Container and all Stress builds And so does the pile of cans On the carpet Because apparently your hands Don’t work And the last fork Went missing Weeks ago So I guess I’ll go to the store And pick up some plastic ones But at some point Those will disappear too Because I guess they belong to you 80 square feet Enough space for me A place where I can be Alone, escape from these fiends Who live unconsciously Victims of defeat Defeated by circumstance Defeated by substance Defeated by the man Who tells them that they can’t Do anything more Than be a fan Sitting in the stands Waving your hands As you help him Stack his bands But it’s enough Because he gives you a...

  Alone I walk alone Through these places I used to roam Each moment is unique Each memory my own Seems like a century ago Driving Century home But not like normal Cuz it’s dark out And frost on the trees Has started to form Streets are empty And something in me Said I could be better  Than hanging with {} and {} But when you’re that young All you know is that It sucks to be alone Cuz you used to sit out on the curbside Waiting for someone to invite you inside So when you have a ride To wherever you want to go It feels nice To become known But 5 years later You don’t let them know What’s inside your head Because it’s different than before No more empty bottles No more worthless convos No more catching up while Crushing cans on Tahoe No, I close the door And I’m selective with who I phone Because you’re 24 And you’ve barely even grown But everybody questions When you walk home Alone, temps in the 20s No coat to keep you warm But you had to get away From those people that you’ve...

  Allie Cloudy and grey are the skies Music on play, this time lofi Feet are freezing Flee to find the flames of the fireplace On a leather seat, I sit for a while Not very keen to flipping pages Unless the stories are coming-of-ages Because I was Lost in a chapter That felt like a place So familiar, this space Because the day was cold And he was alone He left his home To find a life He didn’t know In a place  You can roam For miles And the ducks Where do they go? When the pond is frozen And the days are cold Hold on, hold- In those feelings That you call Feel- feelings That you only have When you start growing old It’s normal to feel Sentimental about the past But there’s really no reason To ever feel sad There’s always that chapter You can open and read Over and over, front to back IF YOU REALLY Want to feel Sad about your leave Tell everyone everything Then you start missing Everybody, because they know you At least that’s what they think.

  Mirror Slowly step aside To stare slowly Til my eyes see Deeply into the hazel irises I have examined time after time Those circles darker than before Those cheek bones still high Eyebrows still furrowed Future still bright This one is dirtier Have to move back to fit But there’s little space to go And I thought- I thought it Was small when I was Now I’m tall And I realize It wasn’t bad at all I look at that man Who stands in front of me His hands Skin broken and old Reminded of the ones I used to hold Calluses permanent on palms From all those batted balls And hours of gripping The knurling on the bars Cuz someone called him small So began the quest To prove it to them all But before Socks slide on hardwood floors Look to the side to see  Someone looking back at me He looks weak Face covered with marks So much you can barely see Scars from when he was young Or the freckles on his nose Turn away Go inside, close the door One day it’ll be better But for now, I’ll stay in more...