Pretend

 Pretend

Walk away, far away

In an attempt to tame-

What’s the name… the name…

Stop. I thought I told you to stop.

Don’t interfere with my thoughts.

That’s why I go for walks

Cortisol finds its way

Into my bloodstream

Then seeps into my mind

It’s all at peace for a while

Then something reminds

Then infested again

With these thoughts that pretend

To be productive, constructive

But beneath their skin

Their intentions, destructive

My walls are too thin

So they keep getting in

When you want to escape

An environment you create

It’s really hard

To find where to go

So do what you do best

*that’s what you do best?*

When you’re dealing with stress

Walk. Go. Away. To a different day.

A bright one in May

When mohawks were cool

And I’d walk down one

To find some orange berries I could pretend

Were a cure to a sickness

So I’d mix them with red and blue

Whatever I could find

To make a new combination

Of things from my imagination

I try to find me

Alone in that crabapple tree

Wearing a grey hoodie

One to cover my ears

And my face
And whatever else could make

Me a target or

Give them something to say

Even when I go back to then

I remember I used to pretend

To be in a different place

Because in certain moments

It isn’t all that great

That’s why you have to escape

And put the words on the page

Even when you’re stressed

Even when you’re tired

Even when you write

About the same things every time

I’m fine

I really am fine

It just really feels good

To reflect on the best of times

And relive them through a bunch of rhymes

Putting all the scribbles from my mind

Into a thought, that I go back to from time to time

Here I am

Pretending

To be writer again

Just like before

When I lived in Star Wars

Or when I would catch

The touchdown pass

At the end of the 4th quarter

Pretend

That I am living somewhere warm

With a girl that I adore

Someone I have seen in my mind

Since I knew what girls were

Pretend

That I am big and strong

Like those players on TV

That I used to look up to

And say I wish that was me

Pretend

That I am old

Enough

To pack up all my stuff

And move away

Somewhere where I control my day

But I am

So no need to pretend

So close the laptop

Put the thought to an end

And leave the page open

For when you come back again

To pretend

You’re in a new place again.