The Exploration

  “Attitude is greatly shaped by influence and association.” The people around you are leading you to your death, it is just a matter of how fast you get there. Extremely bleak thing to say, I know. But in reality, it is the truth. We will all die someday. Knowing that there is an end, wouldn’t you rather live as much as you can before that? Of course. We all want to live our fullest life possible.  So ask yourself, what people are taking the life out of you? Contemplate it for a second.  … If you spend your time with low lifes, you will indeed become a low life. If you spend your time with alcoholics, more than likely you will become an alcoholic. If you spend your time with negative people, I’m sure you’re a negative person. By choosing to spend your life with people who hold you back, you are dying from association.  I have personally found myself trapped in death by association instances. I have seen certain friends form into someone that I no longer want to be a...

  I am wrong “Accepting your limitations is every bit as important as embracing your strengths.” Being wrong sucks. To become better, we must admit our flaws. Unless you truly face your weaknesses, you will never become stronger. Ignorance and ego are constantly clouding our view of who you actually are. These feelings that your brain creates to protect itself from change will never allow you to grow as a person. When you are ignorant, you fail to see the truth about yourself. Ignorant people lack self-awareness and are too conceited to change. They think that their way is the only way and the best way and often fail to see the actual best way. A big ego gets in the way of the truth. A big ego prevents you from seeing other people as anything but less than yourself. A big ego caps your potential to learn. The people who recognize their shortcomings the most, are often the wisest and most respected people. Why? Because they are open. They are not argumentative. But rather agreeable...

  “I have found it of enormous value when I can permit myself to understand other people.” Being right is one of the best feelings out there. Making people know that you are right is something that is programmed inside every single one of us since birth. It gives us fulfillment when we prove someone else wrong and we are right. But that fulfillment it gives us, is not lasting. This fulfillment feels great in the moment, but later you feel empty and ashamed of making another person feel worthless.  Why do we feel this way? Wasn’t our goal to prove that we were right? Maybe at the time it was. But as we grow, we learn that being right all the time isn’t worth it. We learn that making others feel good about themselves is more fulfilling than always being right.  Key : Become more agreeable. As it turns out, the more agreeable you are, the more people you attract. People don’t like being told they are wrong. They crave to be told they are right, or they are important. Obvious...

“Truth can only be seen by those with truth in them.” We often misjudge others simply because we are not true to ourselves. We are insecure with who we are so we create false beliefs in our head about the people we encounter to make ourselves feel better.  When you judge someone based on outward appearance, it typically stems from a bias you have formed in your head based on past experiences. This bias stems from the way people “like that” have treated you in the past. Your brain does whatever it possibly can to make things familiar. This is your brain going into alert mode. Making decisions based on past experiences typically will keep you safe. The hot stove top burnt your hand last time you touched it so now you are careful every time you get near it. So knowing this, can we do the same with people?  I believe not. Humans are dynamic creatures, our behavior is constantly changing. Every single experience a person goes through makes up their overall character. From the outsi...

  “We think by imagining the worst, we are protecting ourselves from it. In reality, we are actually attracting it.” What’s the worst thing that could happen? To be honest, you shouldn’t know. You shouldn’t imagine the worst thing that can happen because that is what your brain will prepare for. Definition: Catastrophize ( ca·​tas·​tro·​phize, kə-ˈta-strə-ˌfīz) To imagine the worst possible outcome of an action or event. Why do we imagine the worst possible outcome? Because we think it is protecting us. Meanwhile, it is actually doing the opposite. By avoiding the worst outcome, we prevent ourselves from realizing the best outcome. When you’re walking next to a cliff what’s the worst thing you can do? Imagine yourself falling off the cliff. The more you focus on what could happen the more likely it is to happen.  Planting the idea of negativity in your head causes you to focus on negativity. You avoid doing things that will get you to the best outcome because you are too busy...

  “If you go for the earning early, you stop the learning. The moment you stop learning is when you decide that you have made enough and don’t need to learn anymore.” Want to be more humble? Repeat this phrase: I know nothing . Lately, my cognitive bias has made me lose track of how little I do know. Learning makes you feel powerful, it makes you feel like you know it all, but in reality, you know so little. Let’s take a look at an effect that describes this perfectly. Definition: Dunning-Kruger effect A cognitive bias whereby people with low ability, expertise, or experience regarding a certain type of task or area of knowledge tend to overestimate their ability or knowledge. As soon as you start to get a grasp on something, you feel like you know it all. The problem with this is that as soon as we feel like we know it all, we shut down our ability to learn more. At some point in early adulthood, we all make a crucial decision. The decision: education or money. Do I want to make ...

“A popular man has many friends, a powerful man has close friends.” Creating relationships is a need that we all look to fulfill. A good friend will get you through the toughest of times. A group of friends will form an army that’s on your side.  As I have examined relationships more, I have realized a dichotomy exists. Either  A person has few, but deep relationships A person has many, but shallow relationships You may want to argue this point but before you do, take this into account: The more time you spend on developing deeper relationships, the less time you have to meet more, different people. But in the same sense, the more time you spend meeting new people, the more your close relationships suffer. So which do you choose? Many friendships will allow you to win the popular vote, but deep friendships will leave you feeling fulfilled and valuable.  For me, I will always choose the latter. The value I get from investing my time in fewer people far outweighs the value ...

  Today was today Let there be no grey Black and white Each decision was made Uncertainty tempts the wandering mind But today, I assure you, all decisions were mine No need to backtrack No need to rewind Everything happened All is fine *** Someday will come The end of my time I'll be happy My life was mine Distractions lead Our minds astray So focus on the present Today is today -MT-

  “The two greatest movers of the human mind are the desire of good and fear of evil.” Every single action you take can be traced back to one of two things: Desire Fear You either desire an outcome, or you fear an outcome. I used to think that the reason I chose to do anything is because I made the decision in my mind. I thought that I could make myself desire something just by telling myself I did. Boy, was I wrong. It turns out, each person has their own desires and their own fears. It is part of the genetics that you are composed of.  I began to list my goals for life. This included things I wanted to achieve, relationships I wanted to improve, improvements I wanted to make to myself. I then went on to look for the reason to do these things. You might say “well, I just want to do it because it’s something I want to do.” That may be true, but there is a true desire that lies within each goal. For example, I might say I want to be a better friend. First off, I ask myself “why...

“We are interested in others when they are interested in us.” Basic, daily conversations can teach you a lot about human psychology. When asking a person a few questions about themself you are able to get a brief glimpse of what their life is like. But when you show genuine interest in their answers, they completely open up and show you inside. Showing interest is the foundation of relationships. The strongest relationships are created because both parties show a genuine interest in the other person. We crave genuine, authentic, real relationships with the people around us. These relationships are what allow us to grow. This being, it is imperative to show interest in the people around you. As we go through our childhood and adolescent years, we are able to see drastic changes in people. But the biggest change we see is the transformation of someone from the person they think they want to be, to the person they are supposed to be. At some point in all of our lives, we mask ourselves wi...

“Your talent is God’s gift to you, what you do with it is your gift back to God.” Growing up, we all experience uncertainty. Uncertainty of who we are. Uncertainty of who we are to become. Uncertainty of what makes us important.  Every single day, these insecurities roam through our minds. We are constantly looking for approval from others but we don’t realize we only need approval from ourselves. We can easily recognize and accept the gifts that others possess so why is it so hard to recognize and accept the gifts we possess? I can easily tell you the God given gifts of my closest friends, favorite artists, and family members, but if I were asked my own I would be reluctant to share my thoughts. It is so difficult to accept yourself. It is difficult to admit that you have a purpose. And it is especially difficult to display your gift. It takes complete self-confidence. But our purpose was to be our raw, authentic selves. That is not for us, it’s for others. We were given that gift...

“A person’s greatest need is the need to feel important.” If you look at the single best attribute of someone who is well-liked, what do you think it is?  Appreciation. Telling others what we find valuable about them makes them feel important. It makes them want to spend time around you because they know that you care. It makes them feel important. Oftentimes, it is hard for us to say the positive things when they are on our minds and easy to say the negative things. If you change your focus to only complimenting and never criticizing, the people will flock to you. You will have more friends than you could ever imagine. Key: Compliment don’t criticize. Making people feel bad about themselves does nothing for you and does more harm than you think for them. It takes quite a few positive comments to amend a negative comment. Negativity digs deep into a person. They remember when something makes them feel sad.  Make it your effort to appreciate the people around you. Look for wha...

  “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” The complexities we form within our minds is what overwhelms us. Overthinking, overanalyzing, overcomplicating; it’s so easy to make things more perplexing. We live in a society where nobody has the time to do anything. Our attention span has shrunk. Dedicating more than a few seconds to anything seems hard.  But why? There is too much on our minds. We always think there is a new thing to see, to explore, to hear. With so much going on, it is impossible to focus on the task at hand. So how do we solve it? Simplify. Every morning we wake up with a million things flying through our mind. We must prioritize, pick and choose what we need to accomplish first. Put all your time and effort into that first thing, perfect it, and move on.  I am guilty of becoming more stressed on my off days than days I work. The days I have limited free time, I am more productive. It is scarcity. The time I have is fleeting and I ...